UCrew Update

Is this Lars Ulrich or is it the Crypt Keeper? And That Head!

Seriously, bro.  What the hell happened to Lars Ulrich?

Look, it’s no secret that Metallica has fallen into the classic “thrash” metal genre within the past 10 years, but seriously, it doesn’t get any more classic than looking at this recent picture of Lars Ulrich.  Earlier today, Ulrich participated on a Reddit AMA (Ask Me Anything) and shot a link onto the site back to the Official Metallica Page with a picture of when he was the host of Tales From the Crypt.  

Forget about the questions that were asked in the AMA, why the f*ck is his head so big?  I’m not talking, about his big ego, rather the SIZE of his head.  

Look, I’m the absolute LAST PERSON to make fun of a person’s looks, but when I first looked at this picture, I thought to myself, “Why the F*CK is his head so big? Is this thing Photoshopped?  It has to be Photoshopped.”

Maybe this is a really bad angle and let’s face it, the piece of paper that he’s holding in front of his neck really hides how thick his neck is.  No, I’m still wondering why his head is still so big. Aaah whatever, everyone has to get old and you gotta hand it to Lars.  That guy has lived the spectrum from STDs to super hot (and always taller than him) girlfriends or wives. He’s toured the entire planet and has whined like a little baby when Metallica’s future was unknown in the St. Anger years.  

No, I can’t make fun of Lars all that much because he’s done far more than what I’ve done and that’s commendable.  

So, just as the AMA ended, Ulrich posted, “I gotta run – afternoon school pickup grind is commencing. Let’s all meet around the keyboard again soon!”  My thoughts then shifted to, “Metal just stopped being metal when they had to pick up kids from school.”

If this were 1983 and Vince Neil had to pick up his kids from school, he would have likely chugged a bottle of Jack Daniels, hopped in his car and killed a few people along the way all while being able to still make parent/teacher conferences loaded on cocaine.  And I don’t even consider Motley Crue “metal”. Eh, don’t mind me.  I’m just vomiting thoughts out onto this blog.

Anyway, if you want to see the original Reddit post, go ahead and click the link here.  

If you want to see the official Facebook post, you can click here.

Why is his head so f*cking big? Why?


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