From the director of movie remakes, Paul W.S. Anderson, comes a movie that you would want to see if Titanic and Gladiator really changed your life.. But at the same time, if you've already seen Titanic and/or Gladiator, then you have also already seen this movie.
Taken place in 79 A.D. Milo (Kit Harington, same dude that plays Jon Snow in *GofT) awakens to his family and people being slain by Roman senator Corvus (Keifer Sutherland). Boom! Next scene hits and its 17 years later, now Milo is known as “The Celt”. He’s just your everyday, bad ass gladiator/horse whisperer/slave with about 10 minutes worth of actual speaking lines during the entire 102 minute long movie. Chained on his way to Pompeii, he gets the opportunity to use his sexy horse whispering skills that turns on an upper class girl named Cassia (Emily Browning) where they fall in love.
During that same time, senator Corvus (Sutherland) is also in Pompeii looking to invest his money in this “Resort town” only to find he really wants to invest his man package in Cassia. As you can probably guess, the rest of the movie is basically Milo trying to save Cassia from this evil man. Which to be fair… he did murder his family in front of him as a child. Luckily, he has some help from a fellow gladiator that he was supposed to kill named Atticus (Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje). SPOILER ALERT: There’s also an erupting volcano involved. So now the story has turned into a race against time to save this girl when in reality he should have just jumped on a boat and left. Freedom<Hoes.
The movie does have great fight scenes where I found myself asking if it were an episode of *GofT. For the most part, it was a love story. The only thing that really saves this movie is the blazing lava from Mount Vesuvius erupting and causing chaos.
Bang, Marry, Kill?
I’d bang it. Definitely a one hitter quitter. Good enough to check it out on DVD unless you really want to see this in 3D which doesn’t make a difference anyways.
Here’s the trailer just in case you need a reminder on this movie:
*Game of Thrones, bitch.