1. Upside Down Beer Bottle Glass
Springtime is just around the corner and that means it’s time to pull out the grill, clean out the ice chest, and throw a few memorable desert ragers to punctuate the upcoming summer. Of course, preparation is always the most important thing to consider when getting ready for an epic summer and it can all start with defying the laws of physics and gravity. Well, kinda.
The upside down beer glass holds 12 ounces of delicious delight and is a great conversation piece for when you’re all of your attempts to pick up on girls fall short.
Price: $15 through Amazon
2. Shark Sleeping Bag
Perhaps your camping gear has just about had it with the past 100 trips to the north country. Maybe it’s time to replace that old woobie for a new one but you don’t want to get one that is drab. You can go to any sporting goods store and any old sleeping bag. Why not get one that adds a little Pacific Ocean flair to your trip when you rest warm in snug inside the belly of your chumbuddy?
BONUS: it looks ridiculously funny when you put electrical tape over your eyes as you recreate a scene out of Jaws.
Price: $200 through Amazon
3. Han (Job) Solo Shirt
When the world decided to make perversion more mainstream, I wish I would have been the guy who thought up this t-shirt. Think about the first time porn wasn’t taboo and you started looking at the world in a whole new perspective. You have to admit that the first time you re-watched Star Wars with your porn-soiled mind, you didn’t think of this yourself. This guy just had the balls to make it into a t-shirt and I think it’s hilarious.
Price: $20 through Tshirthell.com
4. Misogynistic Back the the Future T-Shirt
Imagine coming home from a hard day’s work to find that your girlfriend or wife has gone out of her way to have a hot dinner waiting for you as you walked through the door. Candles are lit, wine is served, and she’s serving your food in a skimpy one-piece that resembles a maid’s outfit. As you finish your dinner, she says to you, “Why don’t you go into the living room and kick your feet up. Oh, don’t worry, I have the TV channel set to Sportcenter. Once I finish cleaning the dishes, I’ll be in there to give you the best BJ you’ve never had.”
Of course, you can’t believe the leaf she’s turned over and you go to work the next day to brag to all of your friends how you’ve got the best wife/girlfriend. EVER. In fact, you want to show your appreciation by getting her a little something that she could appreciate each time she opens her closet doors. However, we know such a woman doesn’t exist, but you can still get this t-shirt and guarantee yourself in the dog house for life.
Price: $20 through http://tmartn.spreadshirt.com
5. Animal Hoodies
I have to admit, when I first saw this, I nearly spit my milk out of my nose. Whole fucking milk! Let me just cut to the chase and say, “Why wouldn’t you want to your dog to look like he’s gone all 8-mile and shit!?”
Also available in feline sizes too.
Price: $10 through Amazon