Roommate Notes: Diaries of Hilarity

Living alone has its privileges.

Think about it: you are able to sit at home, play your video games in your chonies, dirty as many dishes as you want and not have to worry about washing them before anyone comes home. Hell, you can even invite your favorite bootie call over, have sex in any room you want and not have to worry about any roommate complaining about sleeping in your sweaty juices. Am I right? I know I’m right.

So let’s admit it right here and now: roommates suck! There isn’t an argument out there that can support the “best roomie ever” claim because, frankly, the world isn't that perfect. A perfect world would consist of having a roommate that doesn’t come home slamming the door in the middle of the day and yodeling, “Helllloooooo?” every single time from the front end of the house.

Or...

The roommate that has an insatiable craving for your Wheat Thins--mind you they are Wheat Thins you bought yesterday and you now find the empty box on the counter with a note saying, “I’ll buy you another box when I get paid next week.”

Or...

The acid-tripping, coke-snorting fiend who steals money out of your wallet just so he can go support his drug habit?

Well, you have a couple of options to rectify the situation:

a.) Confront your roommate face-to-face and tell him or her that they’re being a dick/bitch and to fix the problem--but that's likely to create a strange friction within the house.

b.) Write them a creative nastygram voicing your complaint and citing a call to action to fix the issue.

I think for the most part, those of us who have had roommates for extended periods of time have written a note or two, but never as creative as these.

Have you ever had to write a creative roommate note? I'd love to hear about it.

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