The Heaviest Metal Band Ever?

Earlier today on my Facebook, I posed a question to my followers, “Who is the heaviest metal band ever?”

Having followed the heavy metal scene for most of my adult life, I knew the answers would be, needless to say, interesting once it was posed. It seems that the metal community is the only community that cannibalizes itself by favoring one type of metal over another.  I know that if Dimebag Darrell were around, he would say something along the lines of, “hey, at least they’re pumpin’ out the metal.”

I personally love all different types of metal and can’t really discriminate toward any type of metal other than Nerd Metal. ;)

I digest...

As the answers started to roll in about my question, I was surprised to NOT see the Slayer fans come out in droves as people started to analyze the word “heaviest”.

Then there were people who brought up classic bands like Sabbath and Kyuss.  And that whole genre of Stoner Rock got me thinking, “Hmmmm, some of those songs are pretty heavy, but it’s not what I’m looking for.”

Even mainstream bands were brought up and labeled as being the “heaviest” metal bands of all time.  I still couldn’t buy it!  Oh, and you can't forget SLAYYYERRR!

So many good bands, so many different definitions of what “heaviest” could mean to one person!  How could this debate be laid to rest (no metal pun intended)?

Gizmodo ran a story on Sunday about a heavy metal band that covers the Motorhead classic, “Ace of Spades” and does it with precision like no other heavy metal band.  In fact, the entire band is composed of three of the most metal individuals you’ll ever meet.

I’d like you to meet Stickboy, Fingers, and Bones--the three members of the robotic metal band, Compressor Head.

Photo courtesy of Compressorheadband.com

Unfortunately for the band, they lack a lead singer; when you have a guitarist that could put Eddie Van Halen to shame  and a drummer that looks almost like General Grevious from Star Wars, you can’t go wrong with this combo.  

If you think this a joke, you’re wrong, my friends.  Compressor Head is slated to play Australia’s big summer festival, Big Day Out, in the next couple of weeks.  

So, metal fans out there can’t really dispute this one based alone on the fact that they are made of mostly metal.  The one thing I DO find ironic is that the band does have to be carried off every night, but not because they're wasted on cocaine and booze.