UCrew Update

The Brady Report 1/13/20

A Sexy Tortoise with 800 Offspring Finally Gets to Retire After Saving His Species

A Guy Called 911 on Himself After He Broke into a Tire Store . . . and the Tires Fought Back

A Billionaire Is Looking for a New Girlfriend . . . Your First Date Will be on the Moon

A Mom Ordered Diapers on Amazon . . . and the Diapers Came Used

A Woman Is Busted Using a Photoshopped Picture of a Nail in a Tire When She’s Late for Work

52% of Us Are ‘Digital Hoarders’ Who’ve Never Deleted a Single File from Our Phone or Computer

We Start Feeling Anxiety About Work at 3:58 P.M. on Sunday