UCrew Update

Thoughts from My Mattress Volume 2


Hi! It’s John Holmberg from 98KUPD’s Morning Sickness. Here are the thoughts that came to mind while I relaxed on my incredible Tuft & Needle mattress this month. Drift away with me in mundane thought, won’t you?

The Kardashian’s aren’t all Kardashian’s. The good ones aren’t even related. Just keeping you up with them.

If you’ve committed horrible crimes in the past and gotten away with it, do you litter and think “that’s nothing!” or is there a little guilt?

Sometimes my body grows long strange hairs in weird spots. Then somehow or another, without seeing it, I find it and pull it.  It’s like my body plays jokes on itself.

Does anyone else think dogs see us walking and think “relax, that’s so bad for your back.”

Do you think Donald trump has ever said “perfect!” after he combs his hair?

Is it wrong to think all white people look alike if you’re white?

Bananas are amazing. A perfect food. But I bet it took years before some cave man said “I only eat the inside.”

Why didn’t oranges get a name?

Is Cricket more popular as a sport in countries where it’s not the same name as a bug?

See the movie Hardcore Henry with your wife and say “this is what my mind thinks about 84% of the day.”

Do celebrities ever keep good pictures of themselves with fans they really like?

Prediction-by 2018 emojis have an age restriction placed on them for people over 45.

I’m drifting off now. The Tuft & Needle bed is too comfy.

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