UCrew Update

Thoughts From My Mattress


We all know Holmberg has an opinion on just about everything and now you can watch a video of his random thoughts and opinions on things from women’s wardrobes to microwave burritos! Scroll down to watch past episodes of Thoughts from My Mattress and enter to win your own Tuft & Needle Mattress!

Enter to win your very own Tuft & Needle Mattress below!

Click here for full contest rules.

Discover the Mattress Holmberg Sleeps On!

Thoughts from My Mattress Archive:

Thoughts from My Mattress Volume 4

I have a friend who is 5’7″ tall. He openly admits he has little man syndrome. He’s a heightist. He makes fun of dudes shorter than him. Makes me wonder, in the world of dwarfs if you’re short, even for a dwarf, can you have little man’s-little man syndrome? You’d be mad all of the time. Speaking of that, is ... Read More »

Thoughts from My Mattress Volume 3

Hi again, it’s John Holmberg from my perfectly spelled Tuft & Needle mattress. Come with my mind just before I drift into a slumber-land of wonderful bliss. These thoughts are provided by a mattress that didn’t put me in debt. No one sleeps well on a mattress they are in debt over. Never finance a mattress! Are you insane??? OK, back to the soothing ... Read More »

Thoughts from My Mattress Volume 2

Hi! It’s John Holmberg from 98KUPD’s Morning Sickness. Here are the thoughts that came to mind while I relaxed on my incredible Tuft & Needle mattress this month. Drift away with me in mundane thought, won’t you? The Kardashian’s aren’t all Kardashian’s. The good ones aren’t even related. Just keeping you up with them. If you’ve committed horrible crimes in ... Read More »

Thoughts from My Mattress Volume 1

I hate when people say “thoughts and prayers.” It’s so thoughtless. You can’t send a thought. Unless you’re an X-Man. At least take the time to form a full sentence. Pretty soon people will just say “t’s n p’s.” Is polygamy illegal because of men or women? If my mattress had self awareness, would he wish he was someone else’s ... Read More »